Healthy Today - Are you Ready To Healthy Life ?

Daily Archives

4 Articles

Empathy – The Key to Positive Human Interaction

Yesterday, I had a discussion over empathy with somebody close to me who said, “Empathy is most needed in human communication, but empathy without sympathy has no humanistic value. A con man may feel empathy for you, but if he has no morals or feelings of sympathy, he can use that empathy against you.”

This made me reflect on empathy. To me, empathy is a process of understanding and feeling into another person, as well as it is an internal reaction activated by a cue from the other person.

On Empathy, Encyclopedia Britannica says:

“”The ability to imagine oneself in another’s place and understand the other’s feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th century, equivalent to the German Einfühlung and modeled on “sympathy.”

The term empathy is used with special, though not exclusive, reference to aesthetic experience. The most obvious example, perhaps, is that of the actor or singer who genuinely feels the part he is performing. With other works of art, a spectator may, by a kind of introjection, feel himself involved in what he observes or contemplates. The use of empathy is an important part of the counseling technique developed by the American psychologist Carl Rogers.

The practice of empathy, as an analytical method based on analogical thinking, may have its onset in the very early days of any human being’s existence, since babies learn empathy by imitating those who care for them. There is no way to compare, measure, observe, prove or disprove that the exact emotion is experienced identically by different people, but people may identify deeply with each other and this identification can lead to improved understanding and emotional intimacy between people.

Empathy is more important in social settings than it is psychologically. The existence of empathy is a sign of healthy personal identity, self-awareness, self-worth, and in the positive sense, self-love. When empathy is absent, an antisocial or psychopathic person can more easily exploit and abuse others.

In our time, since most of the social institutions that help develop empathy, like nuclear and extended family, clan, neighborhood, village, church, temple or belief system, have been impaired, narcissistic conduct has started to take the place of empathy. This is widely reflected in the litigiousness, lack of tolerance, and violence that replicates in our popular culture, in the media, movies, video games, in international dealings and so on.

The presence of empathy is the pathway leading to sympathy, mercy, pity, charity, and the joy of giving; therefore, making for a better and more civilized society.

Let’s look into empathy more closely.

What is the purpose of empathy?

Purposes of empathy are:

To show that you care about the other person.

To foster meaningful, helpful, close relationships.

To learn more about other people.

To direct communication towards important emotional topics.

To let the other person know he is accepted as he is, therefore encouraging him to open up.

To reduce your irritation with others because you understand them better. If you understand them, you forgive them.

To reduce prejudice and eradicate negative assumptions, with the emphasis on the word “assumptions.”

To discover, eventually, that everyone is understandable and everyone’s psyche can be penetrated into.

The practice of empathy is difficult. Each person learns empathy to a degree as a matter of growing up and living in the world, but how do we really practice empathy?

How to practice empathy:

I. Listen, listen, listen. The idea is first you really listen; then, you react. Listening is hard work and everyone can get distracted. Even when we get distracted, we need to pull ourselves together and get back on track to the best of our abilities.

During Listening, to listen effectively, especially in therapy…

1. One has to stop comparing himself to the other person. For example thinking, “I had it rougher than him.” “He is smarter than me.” “His spouse is way better than mine.”

2. One must stop remembering his own experiences on the same subject while the other person is talking.

3. One must not consider the verbal give and take as intellectual debate with the goal of putting the other person down.

4. One must not think he knows everything, so he doesn’t need to listen to the other person.

5. One must not laugh off what the other one is saying or try to change the topic before it gets too serious.

6. One must stop placating the other person by saying, “You’re right.” “I agree.” “He did that to you! Really! What a jerk!” etc.

7. One has to stop trying to read the other person’s mind. For example, “He insists he loves his wife. That may subconsciously mean he doesn’t.” “He is looking out of the window when he says he didn’t do it.” “He may think I’m stupid if I tell him that…”

8. One has to stop thinking about his next step or his answer before the other person finishes talking. For example, “How shall I react to this one when I have to answer him? If I smile or nod, he may take it that I approve of his crime.”

9. One has to stop filtering what the other person says by concentrating to hear only specific matters or significant remarks.

10. One must not judge that a statement by the other person is crazy, extreme, juvenile, boring, or aggressive.

II. Let the other person feel that he is heard. Nobody is perfect at this, but we can get better in time if we work on it.

1. One way to do this is to reflect the other person’s feeling. “This really hurts you.” “You feel left out.” “You feel unimportant.” The focus on the other person’s feelings encourages him to talk those feelings out and explore those feelings practically on his own.

2. Asking too many questions, giving judgmental responses or premature advice or reassurance before the other person finishes his words is counterproductive. It takes away from the other person’s ability to solve his problem on his own by talking it out. Telling him your own story or experience is not so bad if you don’t forget the other persons concern, pain or problem.

3. One of the most common reasons for misunderstandings is our emotional reaction to what the other person says. If the person says something that sets off an emotion (like anger, insecurity, hurt, insult to our beliefs, etc.) that is not related to the person speaking but is related to the listener, the listener may get distracted and therefore may miscalculate the other person’s problem.

4. A correct response embraces the gist of the other person’s feelings. This may sound like the listener is parroting the talker, but it is an effective way of letting the person know you’re interested and listening, for example, “You feel hurt,” “You are overwhelmed.” If we show no reaction or make no comment while the other person talks, he may take it as disinterest or disapproval or he may think we do not understand him.

5. As the other person is talking, it is possible for an empathizer to guess beforehand what the other person is feeling and provide an additional insight. At that point, at an opportune moment in the conversation, an interpretation more or less in a question form may add to the talker’s understanding of himself. For example, “Could it be that your mother is acting this way, because she can’t stand losing you?” or “I’m wondering if your wife wanted to help you when she said that to your boss.”

Empathy, in general, is an important asset; however, introspection and empathy alone cannot make for a perfect society. Better societies are made by the feelings and actions that sprout as the results of empathy. Because of that objective, empathy becomes the key that opens positive human interaction.

Source by Joy Cagil


Beach Wedding Dresses Tips

by sinnga kilam 0 Comments

Nothing is more romantic that getting married on the beach. One important factor that many brides seem to stress over the most is their beach wedding dress. To your future husband he cannot see why you are stressing over a dress. He would think you were beautiful if you married him wearing a potato sack. The one thing about a beach wedding is that when selecting a dress pretty much anything would be appropriate, even a full-length white wedding dress. Before shopping for perfect dress, here are some things to think about.

Does it look good on you?

It would be great if you could walk into a shop and find the perfect dress in the first one you try on but every woman knows that is almost impossible. Take your time choosing a dress. Try them on and get a second opinion, look in the mirror at all angles, and if does not look good on you try another dress. You want to wear a dress that flatters your figure and wears well, even if you have to have it altered slightly.

The elements

The weather plays a very important part of the beach wedding attire. Not only do you have the weather but also the water, sun, and sand. If you plan a day wedding when the hot bright sun is overhead, choosing a heavy, bulky wedding dress with long sleeves would not be a good idea. For beach weddings, most brides will opt for strapless, sleeveless, or slip dresses that will help you stay cool in the sun. It is also advisable if you choose to have the traditional long white dress that it does not have a train. When you are escorted across the sand to your future husband, the train will be dragging across the sand. Not only is that not an attractive sight but the train will get very dirty. Choose a length that ends at or a few inches below your knees.

If you want to have a traditional veil do not choose the big cathedral veil because it will look very awkward to see it blowing in the ocean breeze. Use a small veil that just covers your face. When choosing your wedding dress think about the shoes because you do not want to attempt to walk across the sand in five-inch heels. Choose a nice pair of sandals or flats.


When choosing a setting for your wedding blend the tone and setting around your beach wedding dress. For example, if you were getting married on the beach in front of a five star resort, a casual dress and flip-flops would be too casual. To choose the right beach wedding dress, have a venue picked out first.

Source by Lora Davis


Advantages to Android Game Development

The industry of mobile game development has introduced a very important aspect to the market – the ability to conceptualize, develop, and release video games on devices with far more success and ease than ever before. And with the Android app marketplace only requiring a one-time fee for submitting an application, the cost becomes almost negligible to put the product out for millions of customers to find. Even the submission process is drastically shorter than on most other smartphones, as the app regulation is far more lenient for the Android OS.

Another drawing point for developing games on Android devices is the programming language featured- Java. Java has long been one of the most popular programming languages for video game developers, and thus makes it extremely easy for the average programmer to pick up Android development for the first time. Compared to most other mobile platforms, which usually sport modified or newly invented languages, the learning curve is decreased to nearly nothing, so a new developer can complete a game in a fraction of the time.

Another unique aspect to Android game development is the lack of standardization in the droid phone family. As the Android OS is not licensed to a single mobile phone making company, the phones themselves can vary to an extreme degree in terms of features and hardware specifications. While one device may have a fully functioning A-GPS and HDMI video compatibility, another may have a QWERTY keyboard and no GPS at all. While this is certainly appealing to some developers, as they are likely to find a phone that will meet their hardware needs precisely, it will also restrict the potential audience, as some phones will not be able to support the more complex applications.

When the game development process has finally reached the point where it can be released to the public, the developer is presented with yet another choice- which market would the game be most visible in? Unlike the iOS, there are numerous marketplaces and app stores for Android phones, each one with it’s own advantages and disadvantages. From the basic Android marketplace, built to only display the apps compatible with the phone currently being used, to the Amazon app store, which offers a different free app every day, the myriad of marketing strategies can be almost daunting, which makes it all the more useful that an application can almost always be entered into multiple marketplaces without issue. However, whether it makes sense to spread attention across several different fields is another question entirely.

The Android game development process overall truly gives the most variety on the smartphone market. From start to finish, strategies can be hand-tailored to the developer’s desires, making the game as close to the original concept as currently possible. While the audience may not be as large as that of iPhone users, the Android presents itself as a strong contender, purely through its accessibility. And with the largest variety of smartphones on the current market, the possibilities for development are inexhaustible, and continued releases can only add to the capabilities the platform has to offer.

Source by Michael VK


Book Summary: Launching a Leadership Revolution Written by Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady

Everything rises and falls on leadership. The fate of our country in the coming years will be determined by jobs and small / medium sized businesses. To run these organizations effectively, leadership is needed. Orrin and Chris do an excellent job profiling the five stages of leadership.

Why is this important to me?

I don’t want to waste your time and I want you to get actionable information from this summary. With that said, there are a couple of components that I want to point out as it relates to influence. Leaders sell the difference between their vision and today’s reality. If the vision is compelling and the leader has character and integrity, people will follow.

People need to be hone-able, honorable and hungry to become leaders. Leadership takes effort. I can personally tell you that leading people is not easy. I am also a beginning leader with a lot to learn. To gain mind share of people, you have to influence them and compel them to the cause.

Launching a Leadership Revolution discusses 5 levels of influence on the leadership staircase. For the sake of time, I will profile each part in summary. Leadership can be like herding cats because people are different. To that end, it is the goal of the leader to unite people toward the common cause.

1. Learning – Continuous learning is required now for any field especially leading. You have to be committed to learning every day. This needs to be a habit. You cannot influence people in mass if you are not willing to take the hits and do the work. Learning leads to better performance and enlightenment. Without it, you cannot lead. The world is to sophisticated today for ignorance. You need to be a lifelong learner.

2. Performance – It is not the number of hours you put into an endeavor but the effort you put into the hours. Leaders have to perform. NFL Coaches have a three year life span. If they do not perform and create a winning team, they are fired. People expect performance and want to follow winners. Everybody remembers Muhammad Ali and George Forman. Do you remember Ernie Shavers or Jerry Quarry? These two fighters were good but they were not the champions. There are a couple of keys to performance: 1. 80/20 Rule – focus on what matters and discard what doesn’t and 2. Parkinson’s Law – Focuses on effectiveness and states that a task swells to its allotted time table. Shorten the deadlines on tasks and they will get done. In college, how many of you finished term papers in the last week before they were due? This is Parkinson’s Law in its negative affect. The term paper could be done in one week instead of 15 weeks.

3. Leading – “To serve is to rule” – Leaders know that they have to serve others to get the job done. Selfish egotistical leaders will typically be stuck in positional leadership which is the lowest rung on the leadership ladder. Lee Iacocca was a good leader but not a great leader. He lost his focus and started focusing on his ego after the Chrysler turnaround. His focus became too “I centered”. To be a great leader, you need to be humble and have the collective put ahead of yourself. If you look at truly great leaders you will see this trait – Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi and George Washington.

4. Developing Leaders – Developing other leaders is the real key multiplier effect. Having great people who lead allows organizations to scale. In business, this is the difference between being self-employed and owning a business that does not require your full attention. Do you have a local dentist? Typically what you see at these practices are very successful people that do all the work. They make an excellent living but cannot scale beyond a certain point because THEY can only do so much work and there are only so many hours in a day. Contrast this to Warren Buffett. Warren owns several businesses and does not run any of them. He buys them with excellent management and leadership in place. He provides additional leadership and capital to expand the business and scale. That is one benefit of developing leaders.

5. Developing Leaders who develop leaders – This is the holy grail of leadership. Orrin gives a great example in the book. Christianity is 2000 years old and it is primarily that way because of the Apostle Paul. His ability to develop leaders who developed leaders was un-parallel in history.

Launching a Leadership Revolution is a good book that is worth the time to study. Orrin and Chris do a good job of profiling the key aspects of influence and leadership.

I hope you have found this short video summary useful. The key to any new idea is to work it into your daily routine until it becomes habit. Habits form in as little as 21 days. One thing you can take away from this book is learning. The major ingredient to get your leadership skills off the ground is to learn. Make it a daily habit to read a few pages, watch educational videos and tap into associations outside your comfort zone.

Source by Joe Mosed