What is abuse?
Any behavior, which provokes fear of violence or isolation, emotional stress or mental anguish. Any behavior, which diminishes a person’s sense of identity, dignity, or self-worth. This includes: threatening, name-calling, humiliating, withholding affection, social isolation, removal of decision-making rights, insulting, harassment, intimidation, and coercion.
Emotional abuse in contrast to physical abuse is harder to recognize because it doesn’t have the obvious signs. A raised hand is physical abuse. Bruising is physical abuse. However, emotional bruising, although at times more damaging, is more difficult to identify.
The abusive personality:
Breaking objects close by- Particularly items that are precious to you. When in an argument, the abuser is apt to cause damage, such as punching a wall, throwing things.
Confesses to harming someone- Nevertheless blames that person for causing him to do it.
Controlling- The abuser requires things his way. They are into manipulating through threats and physical strength.
Denies blunders- An abuser refuses to claim responsibility for his actions. When you ask him why he said those mean things to you, he will say “I never did that” or “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Displays low self-worth- Even where self- confidence is poor, he is inclined to behave authoritatively… and this he conveys by debasing others to raise himself.
Excuses by rationalizing conduct- Instead of feeling sorry, abusers tend to use an excuse or blame for what happened. For example- “I had a rough day, so when you asked me that question, I lost my temper.” Alternatively, “It’s your fault. I wouldn’t have broken your picture if you hadn’t butted in.” The abuser rarely holds himself accountable.
Exhibits enthrallment with anything connected to violence.
Fights- An abusive person wants to quarrel with others. It excites him to see others being hurt.
Illustrates no regard for others, cruel to animals. Shows no esteem to elders, harms children.
Jealousy/extreme possessiveness- An abusive person will ask who you are speaking with– becomes jealous when you spend time with family.
Transfers anger on you even when angry with someone else. An abuser’s temper is almost beyond control. Surge of fury is demonstrated when something triggers him.
Violates boundaries by marching into your personal space.
Note: Regardless of how a person writes, he can perform or refrain from performing any act he so desires. Handwriting shows one’s inclination. The stronger one’s tendency to a particular matter, the more likely the person will act in such a manner, unless he chooses otherwise.
How to recognize abusive behavior:
Handwriting details must be repeated at least three times within fifty words for there to be some significance. If two or more of these different signs appear, there is a distinct leaning toward abusive behavior.
Extremely Heavy Pressured t Bars (especially when written downward or on the right side of the t stem, when there is an extra flow of ink from the pen at the end of a stroke): Indicates frustration and anger. The more it occurs, the faster such writers will lose control over their emotions. They should not be hired as teachers as they will quickly get frustrated and angry with children who misbehave.
Muddiness: Sets of strokes that are all run together like a splotch of ink – muddy and murky. Writing which looks thick or has filled ovals (such as an ‘a,’ ‘e,’ ‘o,’ etc.) will indicate the writer’s five senses are fully active. They enjoy the pleasures and comforts of life some even too much. This indicates a jealous, self-indulgent person who is crude and who lacks sensitivity. They generally have a “What’s in it for me?” attitude and heavy impulses that the writer frequently does not curb. They especially like material possessions, luxury, color and textures. Guilt and anxiety are usually present, as well.
Claws: Like a hook, the claw keeps the writer holding on to frustration, embarrassment and past grievances. His defensive attitude makes it hard for others to deal with him, as he is constantly concerned with protecting his ego. Does not tolerate argument, opposition, and infringement on his territory or personal life. The claw-like letters indicate bitterness, bad instincts…and clawing. A claw coming up from the lower zone and going above the baseline may be a strong sign of dishonesty and may have been one of the reasons for the name “felon’s claw.” It betrays the writer’s need or insatiable hunger to ‘draw unto himself.’ Its meaning is ‘Take!’ ‘Pounce!’… directed at all the things that have allegedly been denied. They may include emotional, financial, or physical means of survival as understood by the writer.
Writing Descends: Writing that slopes downward. This shows depression. Although a depressed individual may seek to withdraw from contact with the environment, this would be difficult for a depressed teacher in a classroom setting. When challenged with a particularly provocative student, abusive behavior may result.
Heavily Hooked Writing: Very hard time letting go. This reveals selfishness and greed. The first letter in a word refers to the writer, the last to his relations with others, and in this sample, there are many hooks in the first (middle) and last letters.
Twisted Letters in the lower zone: Distorted emotions. The lower zone is concerned with a person’s basic needs. The indistinct script in this area reflects his sentiments.
Very Angular Writing (and no round letters): Heavy aggression and high energy. Uptight, tense, rigid and totally inflexible.
Joel Engel is the author of ‘Graphology at Home’ and ‘Handwriting Analysis Self-Taught’ published by Penguin Books. http://www.Learngraphology.com