Make Him Commit – Why Men Resist Commitment
Do you want to make him commit but have no idea why he is resisting? If you knew what some of his concerns were, do you think you could find a way to overcome them? What if he’s just not ready? Should you stick it out or move on? Before you can learn how to make a man commit, you have to understand why men resist it in the first place.
Discussing commitment produces fear and anxiety for both men and women. Men tend to feel pressured by the subject, and women dread the possibility that he either doesn’t want a commitment or isn’t ready right now. To really understand men and commitment, it’s important to be aware of what commitment symbolizes to a man versus what it symbolizes to a woman.
Women and Commitment
For most women commitment is almost always considered as a very positive thing. This is probably due in part to how you were raised as well as how society has influenced you to think about commitment. In most cases, it symbolizes love, security, and companionship. Even very independent women crave the emotional security of knowing they are loved and cared for. Commitment helps relieve the fear of abandonment that is all too pervasive in a throwaway society where things and people are easily discarded.
Men and Commitment
Men on the other hand have been conditioned to associate commitment with more negative symbolism. In a man’s mind commitment involves loss of freedom, added expenses, pressure, and stress, and a lifetime of demands and expectations that he may not be able to live up to. Men also dread the boredom that is often associated with commitment.
It’s no wonder that these two very different views collide and create conflict between men and women. But for you, success depends on two things:
o Having realistic expectations that are based in reality rather than fantasy
o Overcoming the objections and negative expectations in a man’s mind.
Setting Realistic Expectations for yourself
Recognize that in large part you control the direction and outcome of your life. Take responsibility for creating your own happiness rather than waiting for the right guy to come along and create it for you. Love has a much better chance for success when two whole and happy people come together than when an emotionally broken person looks for someone to fix them or fill an unmet emotional need.
Overcoming His Objections
You want to show him a very different picture of the one he has in his head. And for a man, this is best done through actions rather than words. Show a man that making a commitment with you will be much different and much better than anything he’s ever imagined.
First, you want him to see you as a complete person on your own. This means cultivating and maintaining positive relationships and interests outside of your romantic relationship.
Second, you want him to see you as a partner. This means that you do not drain him emotionally or financially. Avoid the princess mentality. Instead, show him you are capable of pulling your weight when things become difficult. When a man loves you he’ll treat you like a princess because he desires to not because you demand it from him.
Third, you want him to see you as a safe haven from the world around him by being the woman who can relax him and take his mind off the pressures around him.
Fourth, you want him to see you as exciting. Frequently find little ways to surprise him. Say something he’s not expecting, plan a surprise getaway, leave a note where he’ll find it later, and initiate intimacy with him.
Creating a sense of mystery and intrigue does not require extravagant gestures. It just takes a little thought.
Making a man commit is just a matter of overcoming his pre-conceived notions about commitment. When
you do this, he will have no reservations.